*Old Skin*(un-edited)

I open my eyes
To a new day
My mind aches
And as I stretch my arms
I think what a price to play
To forget painful pasts
Am I only digging the hole deeper
Should I dig deeper
Or should I hide from myself
Like I have been my whole life
I'm worn out
I have been running from myself for too long
Can I keep living like this
Can I even live anymore
What happens when time catches up to me
When I'm left alone
Do I escape into past toxins
How else can I tell if I’m alive
There is no space
Everything is tight
Everything is small
Pushing me
Crushing me
Let me go
Let it all go
Let go of myself
Fuck this pain
And this world that inflicts it
As I sit on the train on my way to class
I roll up into a ball
Hoping no one will see me
But still I smile
Put it out of my mind
Do I do it for myself
Do I wear these emotions to fool myself
No because in the end
I’m alone
And these feelings come back to haunt me
To rip me to shreds
Leave me here
Broken
Diving into these poisons
For they take the bite off this pain
And here I’m left
With the scars of my choices
And the stench of pain