*Never to be Know*(un-edited)

Streaming endless
Like the perfect figure
A circle
No beginning or end
How do you know what time is?
I look at a clock but I only read the same time
Is this what it has come too?
Have I really gone that far?
I know who I am
I know who I am
Who am I trying to convince
Is this all real or is it made up in my head
Maybe I'm just being a little over dramatic
Drama
What does it really mean?
And isn’t a name created by the person who has dedicated there life to it?
So how could I be over dramatic?
Sometimes I fear I'm not happy
Because I think my life is suppose to be like everyone says
Is it because I'm deeper then that
No
I don’t feel deep
There is no Cosmic Energy
Its only Hippy Synergy
I don’t know what is out their
Life is beyond vast and complex
Beyond human grasp
I was walking down the street
Hearing someone else sing about there life
Using their own words make their own art
And even singing along
Because what is art
If you don’t sing along
And as the people I care about
Cut with knives and sharp tongues
I think to myself
I have harmed myself
I have ripped myself
With these same razors
All my life wasted
And I notice a three legged dog walk by
But I am the only person who sees it
I am alone now
This is a different time
Maybe even a different place
So does this make me a different person?
My hands look the same
It must be me
No ones got hands like mind
Nevertheless as alone I feel
I am still surrounded
By this city
It breaths and moves
Like a hill of ants
Is that why I live here
Is that why I feel safe here
Because the would around me is alive
And in some vast way I am connected to this city
Therefore if I am part of a living thing I am alive
No I am not part of this city
A car sets on fire
A mother and three kids inside
Luck would have it that fireman were across the street
But does any know about this
There is no news report
Not even in a local paper
No as a matter of fact
When they where being pulled out of the car
The fancy monkeys in the suits and dresses
Driving cars that make them feel like rock stars
Honk there horns
Normally I'm not vulgar
My finger just loses control at suitable times
They chase a dream that isn’t real
Just like a rock star
And just like me
These are the things
That no one knows
When I feel, how I feel
There must be a method to all of this
When I look at myself through a mask
I hate who I am but the world seems brighter
But without the mask
Without this iron veil
I feel happy and light
But as I look upon this world without you
It is a place of pain and hate
Where the fish rip through scales and blood
The things I wish I could articulate
That even these words can’t completely tell
For this story is not over
It will not die at my hand
Not now
Not yet